.“No, not seven times,” answered Jesus, “but seventy times seven ..." Matthew 18:21 onwards.
By my calculations this makes 490 times. I've forgiven someone 489 times; so they're getting very close to a thump on the head!
Seriously though, Jesus is teaching us here to forgive any wrongdoings against us time and again. But what is forgiveness?
It is to accept the wrongdoing done to us and not to seek any revenge, retribution, punishment, pay-back of any ill-will against the one who hurt us. To just let him go freely. Whether he has asked for forgiveness or not. Whether he cares for our forgiveness or not. Just let him go and in your heart truly forgive him.
This does not necessarily mean reconciliation. There are times when reconciliation is not possible, nor advisable. Just let the person go freely in peace.
Also, this does not mean that the hurt will go away. Often the hurt will remain with you. The slightest memory, and the pain and the hurt of the wrongdoing done to you will return. Use this as a trigger to forgive once again. Whenever Jesus sees the wounds in His hands, feet and side He forgives once again. Be like Jesus.
When the bad memories come back pray for the one who hurt you. You cannot possible hate anyone you pray for.
And should you hear news or gossip that something bad has happened to the one who has hurt you, do not rejoice at his misfortune. This nullifies all your forgiveness.
If the person who has hurt you has passed away, He is now in the sight of God and has seen the event in all its facets and his role, and yours, in it. The matter is between him and God now.
If you were in any way guilty in the event, ask God for forgiveness and earnestly repent for your part in it.
And accept God's forgiveness. Don't keep going back on the events and wonder if you've been forgiven, and feel guilty all over again. By doing so you're insulting God by suggesting He hasn't truly forgiven you.
Now ... have you got a calculator?
I forgive but I can't say I am good at it and it doesn't feel good when I am holding back - that's when I read all the scripture on how God forgives me.
ReplyDeleteWhen we "hold back" it is because the hurt is still raw and has not yet fully healed. Memories take a long time to be forgotten.
DeleteGod bless you, Debby.
Sometimes it helps me to remember what King David said to The Lord in Psalm 51 when confessing about the Bathsheba incident, Against you, and you only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight.
ReplyDeleteThe argument could be made he sinned against God, and against Bathsheba, Uriah, their families, the son who was conceived and eventually died, even the whole people of Israel because he was being a bad example. But in reality, we don’t so much sin against each other as against God through our actions to each other.
When I remember that, it’s easier to forgive.
Yes, that's a good attitude, Mimi. God bless always.
DeleteThis hit closer to home than I'd like, Victor, as I had someone accuse me of being insensitive to her needs when that was never ever my intention. We can't understand what others are going through or how our reactions might push someone over the edge. The most important lesson to learn is to continue to forgive others as we know the Lord has forgiven us.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
So true, we sometimes hurt others without really realising it. Forgiveness can be so difficult at times.
DeleteGod bless you, Martha.